My Birth Story

Tuesday Aug 9

Had my weekly appt with Dr ******. Because I had missed the appointment the week before, they made me get a cervical check despite not wanting one. Had started having diarrhea (like completely clearing me out) on Sunday, and when I brought it up to him he said it sounded like a GI bug… despite all the research I had done and this being a sign of early labor. When doing my exam, it was painful and I had brown spotting later that day. This leads me to believe that he actually did a sweep on me without saying anything, which isn’t the first time he’s done something without my consent.

Thursday Aug 11

Full moon. It was just before 8 o’clock and I noticed the brown discharge again. I started to think that maybe it was my mucus plug, and then shortly after that when my belly would tighten I started getting a lower back ache. We were at Mike’s parents’ making dinner since our kitchen was still inaccessible, and I got super anxious and came right home to shower and get comfy. We watched a movie and I ate ice cream, but I had a feeling something was happening. I didn’t sleep much at all that night, the contractions were very mild but kept waking me.

Friday Aug 12 – Birth day

I got up pretty early and did my regular morning chores with the dogs and chickens, but decided to call off sick. I felt anxious and uneasy, and just wanted to spend time with Michael, relaxing if possible. I ended up losing the rest of my plug that morning. My contractions were a bit more uncomfortable at this point, but we went to Mike’s parents for brunch (about noon), went to the recycling center to drop off boxes, and then Ollie’s for a rug pad. When we got home I laid down on the couch in the office to try and nap when Mike went out to the garden with Alan to get tomatoes. It was right before 3 and I felt the gush of my water breaking. It was like a pop and I was soaked. I called Mike and told him and then decided it was probably a good idea to pack a bag. As I was packing and trying to figure out what I should wear, it kept coming in more gushes. About an hour went by and I decided I should probably call the hospital. I stayed on the toilet and they told me to come in but to call Dr ****** too to see what he says. I called him and he sounded exhausted/very grumpy, with a lot of noise in the background. He told me I should head in. I called the hospital back and let them know that he said he would be there. We waited a bit longer, Mike’s parents got the dogs, and then we left. We got to the hospital around 5:30.

When I got there and started signing waivers I had to sign a paper that puts ALL interventions into one sentence for approval - pit, episiotomy, forceps, vacuum, etc so I didn't want to sign it until the Dr. was there because I wanted it to be clear that these things would only be for LAST RESORT. My contractions were still bearable by this point but getting much more intense, and on top of that, I was playing 50 questions with the nurses. SO annoying and frustrating, then to also find out my mom had called that morning to ask about visiting hours AND told them I lost my mucus plug?

One of the first things they did, after I changed, was check for dilation, and I was only at 2cm but completely thinned out. This was a bit discouraging because the intensity was picking up, but the contractions were so inconsistent. The nurses let Dr ****** know and he said to check me again in 1-1.5 hours. It was so incredibly uncomfortable to be hooked up to monitor around my belly, too. Just seemed so unnecessary, along with all of the questions being asked. Things did start to get blurry for me, but around 7pm (nurse shift change) I got checked again and I was only at 3! I was feeling bummed at this point, knowing I had quite a ways to go because the contractions were a lot more intense than they were when I got there. They called and let Dr ****** know and he wanted them to hook me up to the Pitocin. (At this point I only had the IV lock.. no fluids or anything.. because I didn’t want them and the nurses respected my wishes). I told them that I didn’t want Pitocin and I wanted to progress on my own. They all 4 looked at me like a deer in headlights and explained that that’s what he advises they do. I said, “Be honest, is there any reason I NEED to have pitocin?” And they all just kind of stared except one nurse she said no, absolutely not. So, they called him back and told him that I refused Pitocin and he said if I DON’T TAKE IT THEN I CAN DELIVER WITH THE ANOTHER DOCTOR and I said okay, perfect, I’ll deliver with the other doctor.

This was a huge relief and manifestation coming to fruition for me because just the day before I was thinking of switching my care because I did not like that this Dr. continuously does not provide informed consent in the office.

The new doctor came in and explained to me that he saw no reason why I couldn't progress on my own at this point but after my water is ruptured for 18 hours they do worry about infection so they use pitocin to get things moving more quickly at that point. and I was like alright, whatever, that's the policy here I guess that's fine but I'd like to keep going. He also explained to me that women in this country find childbirth very painful and kept discussing the use of pain relief. He said women of this country at least three times. I kept declining but I found that interesting.

After that things are a bit of a blur because man that shit is ROUGH hahah I was trying so hard to focus and keep my jaw loose, mouth open, horse lips, and like moan through it. But I made the mistake of not eating since Mike and I had brunch that day so I was also starving and felt so weak, my mouth was so dry and I couldn’t really drink, not because they wouldn’t let me but because I just felt incapable lol. I did end up deciding to get some fluids because I was worried about being too dehydrated. I used 1 bag and it was just getting so intense and agonizing at that point I kept thinking in my head I'm probably only 5cm there's no way I can do this anymore. It started to feel like I was breaking in half and I was nauseous. (Now understanding that was my moment of transition) I even got into a position where I did feel like I was pushing him out already. Anyway, the nurse came in (she came in very infrequently she said because she knew I wanted minimal intervention and to do it without pain med so she thought if she wasn't there it would help me from asking for it when it got ugly lol) when she came in I was like I think I need an epidural and she was like ok well let's get you to pee first and then I'll check you to make sure you're far enough along. So I peed and when she checked me she just yelled "omg the head is right there!!! hunny we gotta get you to delivery it's time to have this baby!"

I waddled to the delivery room and got up on the bed & got all up in the stirrups. Mike was allowed to catch the baby so they put a gown gloves and a hat on him and they set up one of those big mirrors for me so I could watch, and I was able to touch his head up there!

I pushed for 12 minutes and out he came! At 10:58pm Michael screamed oh my god it's a boy!!!

I don't think I pushed correctly though, I think he could have been out sooner. I broke blood vessels in my eyes, they looked terrible and my face was all speckled. I think if I stayed in that other position when I was in my room he would've come right out. I had a second-degree tear and I’m now in pelvic floor therapy because my right side is weaker than my left, causing pain and discomfort.

Afterward, I heard the nurses in the hallway saying “See what happens when you let a woman go on her own”.

I understand that not all women have this experience and there are typically other reasons inductions or drugs to speed up labor are pushed. Mine didn’t have one. However, it’s important to know your rights and the risks versus benefits of ANYTHING. It’s YOUR choice, and whatever choice you make is the right one for you and your baby.